Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hippy Valentine's Day!

I thought hippies loved Love. I thought that "peace and love" was their calling card. I thought that, "man, if we could just, you know, smile on your brother everybody get together try and love one another, right now..." was their kind of thing, right?

Well, apparently the one day of the year when love is emphasized beyond all else, these people just can't bring themselves to express it, at least not for fellow human beings anyway. Nope. I guess that partaking in a holiday that so many other people celebrate would bring them much too close to the "establishment" and would therefore ruin their carefully-crafted facade of "free-spiritedness" and independece (coincidentally, it for for precisely this same reason that hippies quit liking Dave Matthews...the music didn't change that much). I guess hippies only like Love on their own terms. This only demonstrates further their pathological close-mindedness about anything outside the scope of their narrow worldview.

It's not that hippies don't celebrate Valentine's Day. They just do so in their own disdainful, immature, self-righteous way. For instance, a bunch of freaks will be gathering at a San Franciso Victoria's Secret store to "love Victoria's Secret to death" (how off-base and anti-your-own-philosophy can you be! Sheesh!) and "serenade them with forest friendly love songs" (that sounds more like it). They are doing this in order that Valentine's Day may "have some real meaning behind it," as if expressing love for other people has no meaning. Don't they get it! They are so commited to being "alternative" and "open-minded" that they parade around in public in defiance of their own (supposed) guiding principles. It's hippyocrisy!

I think I've got it. These people are extremely concerned about their image. As much as they would like for you to think that they do not care, they have a very strict set of standards that their groupthink mentality imposes upon its members. Imagine if you showed up wearing a Britney Spears shirt and took part in their rally. What if you came wearing...red hearts on your shirt! Do you think they would accept you? Absolutely not. Hippies are an exclusive group and if you don't fit the bill (i.e. have dreadlocks, armpit/leg hair (for girls), wear ratty clothes, smell bad, or express intense distrust of everything) then they will not give you the time of day. I've managed to get a little carried away here, but I will talk about this more in a future post about hippies' self-reverent idealism which leads to exclusivity and an "ends-justify-the-means" mentality. But more on that later.

What I really wanted to talk about is the Vagina Monologues. Now I have nothing against this group's mission, I believe that it is a noble one. Violence against women should never be tolerated and is despicable in any form. That said, read this, from the Vag Monologues website:

"V-Day’s mission is simple. It demands that the violence must end. It proclaims Valentine’s Day as V-Day until the violence stops. When all women live in safety, no longer fearing violence or the threat of violence, then V-Day will be known as Victory Over Violence Day."

Now that's a pretty tall order, eh? I wonder if she has a timetable for success in this mission. The truth is, men have penises and testicles, and until you cut them all off (which I'd venture to guess this group wouldn't mind doing), you're not going to end violence against women. And I have seen some girls going at it too. And who is she to say that I can't call Valentine's Day Valentine's Day? I've never hurt a woman. I know I probably sound like an a-hole but it's true. I support her cause, I've seen the Monologues, but if I want to express love instead of hate, I'm going to. Besides, what about violence against men? If I'm not mistaken, John Bobbit got his captain chopped off by a woman. Could he at least get an honorable mention at the ceremony? I know a guy who had to have a testicle removed, could we call it P-Day instead? This is all a part of the "blame the white penis" mentality that pervades liberalism these days, and while I hoestly have nothing against the V-day mission, I'm going to choose to celebrate Valentine's Day this year.

PS - I remember a club that took its name from genitalia from my elementary school days. Does the Pen15 Club ring any bells?

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