Thursday, March 09, 2006

Fun with the News...

Meet "Big" Gene Rychalk, Jr., the man who set the world record for the bench press. On November 21, 2004, Big Gene benched 1,005 lbs, becoming the first man to lift over 1,000 lbs and cementing his status as ultimate hero to creatine junkies and muscle-minded jocks everywhere. (See video of him breaking an old record here) Here is a picture of Big Gene, on what was probably the greatest day of his life:

I mean let's face much does it suck to be the strongest man in the world and still look like you're fat? I expected him to look a little more like this:

This guy looks like the strongest man in the world, not like a plumber. I bet you could shoot him in the abs at close range with a .12 gauge shotgun and he wouldn't even flinch...but Big Gene, apparently, could still whip his ass, I guess.

So anyway, Big Gene, in light of his stunning feat, could (theoretically at least) lift this man, who lives in Alaska, weighs 1,000 pounds, can barely move, eats a lot obviously, ("It's not unusual for him to eat a dozen burritos, a couple dozen tacos, multiple hamburgers, plus all kinds of desserts. He's eating somewhere between 13 and 20,000 calories a day"), off his chest if he ever sat on him:

"At this point, he's just kind of laying, and he just rocks from side to side and they do what they can to keep him clean," says Dr. Phil, who is trying to help him regain control of his life, and perhaps finally get out of bed.

Big Gene could have lifted this South Dakota man off his chest, albeit with much effort, before he had a surgery that put him at a wee 400 lbs.

So this guy had 600 lbs of cheetos, funions, steaks, beers, beef jerkey, etc, surgically removed from him. If you take the 400 lbs that he currently weighs in at and subtract it from the 600 lbs that he lost, you get 200 pounds, which is what this woman:

Donna Maddock, 22, of Mold in north Wales, was fined for putting on makeup in the car. The so-called "Make-Up Motorist" was photographed while driving 32 mph with both hands off the wheel. Since when was farding in the car illegal?

I'll tell you one thing that might become illegal to do while driving in the near future...surfing the 'net. With wireless internet "blankets" covering portions of some cities, I think it's only a matter of time before "car surfing" legislation comes to the fore. Especially with awesome new computers like Microsoft's newly unveiled Origami:

It's one inch thick and weighs 2.5 pounds, wireless and has a touch screen. They'll definitely come up with some sort of car mounting device sooner or later.


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